Pure in Heart

“Pure” is an odd word – an odd concept – to consider when you’re an abuse survivor. Let’s face it – what was done to me – what was done to you – makes us feel anything BUT pure. I believe it is this sense of being contaminated, of being defiled and maybe even feeling impure – which can strongly contribute to our disconnect with God. What ties all of this together into a huge knot in your soul is shame. It’s false shame – but it’s there, nonetheless – and it packs a punch that can knock you to the ground, but not necessarily to your knees.

In what is known as “the Beatitudes,” Jesus taught “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). Ah! So for those of us who are filled with this sense of contamination, defilement, impurity, and false shame – seeing God is often very difficult. It’s as if layers and layers of corrosive shame impair the connection you were born to have with your Creator. Picture a car battery with corrosion and goo around the charge posts. If that battery is going to get a good jump-start, the condition of those posts must change.

In mental health research, shame has been identified as a trigger that sends abuse survivors into dysfunctional or self-sabotaging behavior. So if you were raised in a religious tradition that used shame and guilt as a motivation for “getting right with God” – that may have had almost the exact OPPOSITE effect on you! Shame sets off a horrible tornado of dysfunctional thoughts that – perhaps – put another layer of corrosion between you and God. And yet – Jesus teaches that it is the pure in heart who will see God. I don’t have a lot figured out about God – but I do know that Jesus would never teach about something we could not possibly have.

So let’s untangle this to discover what PURE means and then separate that truth from the lies that tell you you’re contaminated, defiled, and impure. PURE means to be unmixed with any other matter that does not properly belong. So the first step to having a PURE heart is to remove what doesn’t belong. Believing you are defiled or contaminated doesn’t belong - the defiler and the contaminator were your abusers, not you. Believing that it is your shame, doesn’t belong – the shame belongs to your abusers, not you. It is false shame and false guilt.

Sometimes people equate purity with innocence. In the case of abuse, innocence was stolen. You have experiences, awareness, and knowledge that shattered your innocence. But Jesus taught that it was the PURE of heart that see God – not the innocent.

Your heart became caked with debris left by your abusers. Abuse recovery is partly about clearing away that debris – of removing what doesn’t belong. False shame doesn’t belong. Taking responsibility for your abusers’ actions doesn’t belong. Believing the messages that you are contaminated and defiled doesn’t belong. As you begin to recognize TRUTH – your worth, your sacred nobility, and the majestic being that you are – your heart transforms into a PURE one. Perhaps more accurately – you recognize what has a place and what does not. Yes – this takes practice at first. What in abuse recovery doesn’t! But rest assured, your heart is PURE. You’re just in the process of seeing that for yourself. As you do, the corrosion dissolves and the connection with God is less obstructed by goo.

One final point about being PURE of heart: the treatment of that idea in the context of this article is about abuse’s impact on your connection with God. Obviously, each of us must sift through our own debris, our OWN actions, that we packed around the wounds of abuse. That debris is different from the abuse’s contamination. That’s the rest of the Gospel story. But for most abuse survivors – the first step is to recognize the shattered heart – broken by the actions of others – is also a PURE heart. One that is more in-tune with the PURE heart of our Creator than we believed because of the lies that corroded that connection.

Radio Interviews
I'll be interviewed on WWJC radio station tomorrow, March 13th at 10:30 am Central Time. This is a live interview and can be heard on AM850 in Minnesota/Wisconsin in the Duluth/Superior area, or by internet live-stream from the station website: www.wwjc.com

I'll also be interviewed on The Debbie Chavez Internet Talk Show on internet radio on Tuesday, March 17th, at 11:00 am Central Time. You can hear this interview from their website: www.debbiechavez.com

A third interview will be Thursday, March 19th on radio station KNEO, 91.7 FM (southwest Missouri) on The Author's Corner with Adam Winkler. You can hear this interview from their website: www.kneo.org