My apologies to all who are allergic to peanuts, but this is about peanut butter (sort of!) Peanut butter is, perhaps, one of the most perfect foods there is (again, my apologies to the allergic readers). I've had peanut butter in all kinds of dishes. There's a wonderful African peanut butter soup (nkate nkwan) that is addictive, nutritious, and very filling. A recipe and article can be found by clicking this link. There's the equally addictive peanut butter cookies with the characteristic criss-cross imprint, and the ever popular Reese's Peanut Butter Cup candy. I've had peanut butter pie, peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter on bananas or apples, and peanut butter crackers. Yep, peanut butter is a very versatile food that's filled with nutrients. You can get it processed, creamy, chunky, and natural. You can also make it yourself (or so I've been told).
Of course, in many households, peanut butter sandwiches are the mainstay of childhood school lunches. Add strawberry or grape jelly to that, and you've got a winning combination that most kids will scarf up in a heartbeat! Peanut butter and honey sandwiches are also a big hit. But my very, very, very favorite way to eat peanut butter is on whole wheat bread with mayonnaise, sliced tomatoes, and diced onions! Okay, I can see you cringe over that thought, but don't knock it 'til you try it!
I really do have a point here that has to do with abuse recovery, and that is the vast diversity of paths that lead to healing and balance. I think one of the most dangerous aspects of seeking help is when you encounter a person who insists that the way they found healing is the only way. That's just not true. The damage from abuse falls into fairly uniform categories - self-sabotage, relationship difficulties, addictions, self-injury (cutting, substance abuse, eating disorders, etc.), and emotional imbalance (depression, anger management issues, etc) to name a few, but the road to move beyond that is quite unique for each person.
Some people find great comfort and healing in faith and religious rituals, but those same rituals can be a source of tremendous pain to others. Some people find great courage by confronting their abusers, while others might absolutely whither and disappear with a confrontation. Some people experience healing through art or music or writing, while others prefer quiet meditation or training for a marathon run. Activists use their past hurts as fuel to change things and make a difference, while a person of prayer fights those same battles in another realm. Some people follow prescribed steps taken in a sequential order to feel empowered, and others find personal empowerment as they take responsible risks.
My point is this: please be EXTREMELY careful and EXTREMELY creative in your journey beyond abuse! If "plan A" worked for your uncle and "plan B" worked for your best friend and "plan C" worked for your pastor - that's GREAT! However, if none of those plans helps you to de-tox from past abuse and dysfunction, if none leads you to a place of personal empowerment, spiritual peace, and healthy living - then you must find a plan that does! Equally important for you is not to discard the value of what works for others - because their path was THEIRS and that's cause for celebration!
Finally, I think it's so important to experiment with different approaches and different tools, and come up with the combination that works best for you. In my own journey beyond abuse, I've taken one idea from here, used another technique from there, mixed in a few ideas of my own, fought for empowerment on my knees in prayer, and used my mind to process information - and it is the SUM of these that made a difference for me . . . for ME. It might not work that way for you, and it doesn't have to!
There is joy in this journey beyond abuse. Yes, there is also tremendous pain - but to discover the path to freedom is exhilarating and life changing! So keep on your path or step off and find another - but keep moving, experimenting, listening, and learning. You never know . . . you might even discover that peanut butter, mayonnaise, tomato and onion sandwiches are de-li-cious!!
Sallie’s Recipe for PBMT&O Sandwich:
- 2 slices of 100% whole wheat bread
- 1 blob of all natural peanut butter, smeared on one slice of bread (I like to microwave my peanut butter to soften it up - but make sure that foil seal is completely off before you do . . . take it from me, you'll regret it if you don't!)
- 1 blob of mayonnaise, slathered on the other slice of bread
- 1-2 Tablespoons of diced red onion scattered evenly over the peanut butter
- 2 thick, juicy, slices of home-grown tomatoes (or those nasty hot-house tomatoes that are always in-season in the grocery stores!) stacked up on top of the peanut butter
- Slap that bread slice with the mayo on top of the peanut butter slice (mayo side facing the peanut butter!)
- Keep the crust or lose it – your choice! Cut it in half or leave it whole – your choice!
- Enjoy with a nice cool glass of Mountain Valley Spring Water from Hot Springs, Arkansas!
Written by
Sallie Culbreth, Founder
Committed to Freedom . . . providing people with spiritual tools to help them move beyond abuse
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