Angst Fast

Let me begin this by saying that I have spent most of my life addicted to angst. Glorying in negativity. Reveling in what's wrong. One of my greatest struggles was to come to terms with the fact that I honestly wasn't sure I wanted to become healthier. My true rhythm was found in the familiarity of damage and dysfunction. Self-sabotage and depression. I'm not proud to admit this, but I suspect I'm not the only one.

This worldview is understandable. After all, it's easier to expect the worst and not be disappointed than to expect the best and have your hopes and dreams crushed. Abuse is an effective teacher in that sense. When you've experienced exploitation and mistreatment, you come to believe that all the world's a prison and everyone is suspect - even those you love. Like I said - abuse is an effective teacher.

But what would happen if you shifted that worldview? What would happen if you became a positive person instead of a negative one? Please understand - I'm writing this article mainly for myself! I'm asking MYSELF these questions. But it's intriguing to ponder. What would happen if you made a decision to go on an ANGST FAST? Now I'm not suggesting that you go into some kind of magic denial bubble and lose touch with reality. I AM suggesting, however, that you examine how optimistic or pessimistic you are. That you assess how toxic your words and thoughts are to you and others. That you recognize the energy you spend waiting for the other-shoe-to-drop.

I'd like to suggest an experiment for you and me. I'd like to suggest that we go on an ANGST FAST. That we deprive ourselves from negativity, cynicism, bitterness, and irritation for a set amount of time. Be reasonable with yourself. Don't start out by Angst Fasting for a day - start with an hour - or even fifteen minutes! If you've spent your whole life drowning in angst, dysfunction, and bitter depression - you can't go "cold turkey" (or at least most of us can't go cold turkey!). You need to slowly de-tox and celebrate the little successes - be it five minutes or five hours or five days.

For example, this morning I woke up to a full day's schedule, a shortage of funds and energy, and a pounding sinus headache. I found that my "self-talk" was very negative. "I can't do it all! I don't have enough money or energy! My head is killing me - of course!" The negativity was so loud that it started to spill over in how I treated other people. I was irritable and inpatient. It was the perfect cocktail for a disastrous day. So I experimented with this idea of Angst Fast and decided that for the next five minutes, I was going to look at the same picture in a celebratory way. So here's how that translated:"I have some big dreams and visions that are challenging! I can do some things better than others, but I do not have to do it all. I have a headache and need to pay attention to it - so I'll take some sinus headache medicine and lay down if I can. If I am unable to lie down, then I'll try to slow down." Just this tweaking from negative to positive changed how those five minutes worked for me and those around me. Actually, it empowered me.

So here's the challenge: Go on an ANGST FAST! When you find yourself slipping back into the self-wallowing angst you are so familiar with, then simply regroup, take a breath, and give it another try. Don't beat yourself up - just start again. The old Alcoholics Anonymous saying is very appropriate here: "One day at a time." Break it down however you need to - but make a decision to fast from negativity for a few moments. That will grow to a few hours, then days, weeks, months, and years. Who knows, you may Angst Fast for the rest of your life!


Upcoming Seminar:

October 3, 2009 - Beyond Abuse Seminar. Cornerstone Assembly of God. Oxford, CN (USA)

203-881-3232 www.cornerstonect.org