Vertigo

I've struggled with vertigo a good portion of my adult life. Yep, you might say I'm a dizzy blond (bad pun, I know). Vertigo is a very disorienting condition. The room spins, regardless of whether you're standing, sitting, or lying down. You lose your balance. You get nauseated. In some cases vertigo can completely incapacitate you! Once, I had a episode so debilitating I couldn't even give a telephone interview for a radio program!

For abuse survivors - abuse of any kind creates that same sense of vertigo. In this case, however, it's spiritual and emotional vertigo - sometimes physical, sexual, and relational too. Abuse is very disorienting when it's happening, but the damage doesn't end there. It completely spins your world around and can continue to create internal and external chaos and confusion for years.

Vertigo is usually caused by tiny calcified bits in the inner ear. Medications are not particularly effective in controlling the symptoms. My doctor told me the best thing I can do to control vertigo is to take care of the source in my inner ear. She explained that it's like dissolving sugar in tea. You have to stir the tea to dissolve it. So my "treatment" as well as prevention from further episodes is to lay on the edge of my bed with my head hanging off, and roll from side to side for a few minutes. And you know what . . . it worked! Dealing with the problem, versus treating the symptoms, helped substantially in controlling and even reducing the vertigo episodes.

There's an obvious correlation here when dealing with your abuse “vertigo.” Covering it up, numbing it, or pretending it doesn't exist - none of these are really effective strategies to be able to function for any sustained period of time. While it would be nice to just take a pill, drink a drink, or click your heels three times and "poof!" everything's fine - that's not the way it works.

Abuse recovery is a pro-active way of living. That's not a statement of despair; it's a statement of empowerment. Some people think that the task of making on-going healthy choices means they're doomed to struggle for the rest of their lives - that they'll never be "healed." I think it's just the opposite. I think the moment you make a healthy choice - a proactive choice, you're already there. Every step you walk on this path of being a healthier, balanced person is miraculous and powerful and amazing!

To lie down and be dizzy is one thing. To lie down, even though you ARE dizzy, and roll around until you dissolve that bit of debris - that is proactive! That effort - metaphorically and spiritually - means you have empowered yourself to get up, find your bearings, and catch a more accurate view of life. Each tiny step you take, each proactive choice you make - big or small - brings you into a place of more accurate perspective. It gives you a glimpse of what it is you're working so hard for.