In my opinion, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” (by Harold Arlen and E.Y. Harburg) is one of the most wistful, melancholy, angst-filled songs I've ever heard. While I love Judy Garland's version, the one that always melts my heart is sung by the late Eva Cassidy*. She seems to have nailed the longing that so many of have for something beyond what we have known. When I need to touch that place of longing in my own soul, I listen to her rendition. Not only is this song one of yearning, it is also one of hope - that there is, indeed, another place "where dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true."
The obstruction to that discovery of something beyond, seems to be the insurmountable ones of time, space, and uncertainty. In fact, the question, "How long?" is one that fills the heart of any suffering or struggling person. It is a question asked quite often in the Bible.
The psalmist asked, How long will the wicked, O Lord, how long will the wicked be jubilant? (Psalm 94:3); "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:2); and "How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?" (Psalm 4:2).
Moses asked, "How long will these people treat me with contempt?" (Numbers 14:11)
Solomon asked, "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?" (Proverbs 1:22).
Job asked, "How long will you say these things? Your words are a blustering wind." (Job 8:2)
Even Jesus asked, "How long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?" (Mark 9:19).
I remember when I was a child, growing up in a military family during the Vietnam war, I had a calendar with numbers on each day of the year, counting backwards. We had a date my father would return from war and each day on that calendar marked one day closer to our separation ending. I also remember when I was in labor with our first child, I asked (more like screamed), "How Long?" and screamed it more than once during those long twenty-four hours!
The question, "How Long?" seems a bit more bearable when you have a target date to focus on – like a father returning from war or a baby about to be born. But for abuse survivors, there most likely is no target date. No moment fixed in time when - once you cross it - you won't struggle, won't remember, won't wince or panic or fear (I’m not speaking about heaven here!). That's when the question, "How Long?" feels as illusive as this wistful song. "How Long?" can blind you to what is happening in the present - good and bad, pleasant or difficult.
I grew up in a faith tradition very focused on the after-life, on heaven. While that may be comforting, it can be thrown out of balance if it means you fail to live this day with the importance that it deserves. Don't get me wrong - I am grateful that we have a "blessed hope" of something beyond what we know - beyond our suffering, but I also know that what we have at this moment IS . . . well . . . this moment.!
I've lived long enough (almost 56 years) to be very grateful for what I know now. I wouldn't trade my knowledge and life experiences for anything - not even being cute and twenty and strong and energetic. With time spent on this earth, we can learn how precious each day is, each relationship is, and each opportunity is. Don't get me wrong - I hate suffering as much as the next person, but as valid as the question, "How Long?" is, that's not the only question you need to ask. Other questions - whether your life circumstances are positive or negative, whether your journey is arduous or joyous - might be, "What can I learn about myself through this?" "In what ways do I need to change and grow?" "What about this is worthy of dignity and celebration?" "What about this can I use to help others in similar situations?"
One reason I think that "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is so melancholy, is that it looks THROUGH the rainbow, not at it. The truth is, from the smallest child to the oldest adult, the sight of a rainbow can take your breath away and cause you to squeal, "Look! A rainbow!" In your journey, there is beauty and wonder in each step - each painful step - on your way to find out what's beyond this moment you've got. Live it to the fullest. Extract from it all there is to have. Use it to change yourself, to alter the future, and to make a difference for others who find themselves on the same path.
"Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high . . . there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue . . . and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me . . . where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me. Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly . . . birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why can't I?"
You’ll be there someday, but for now, dear ones, be sure to catch a glimpse of that rainbow, too. It makes the “How Long?” question a bit more bearable.
*to hear Eva Cassidy's rendition of Over the Rainbow on YouTube, paste this link in your web browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccCnL8hArW8
The obstruction to that discovery of something beyond, seems to be the insurmountable ones of time, space, and uncertainty. In fact, the question, "How long?" is one that fills the heart of any suffering or struggling person. It is a question asked quite often in the Bible.
The psalmist asked, How long will the wicked, O Lord, how long will the wicked be jubilant? (Psalm 94:3); "How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?" (Psalm 13:2); and "How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?" (Psalm 4:2).
Moses asked, "How long will these people treat me with contempt?" (Numbers 14:11)
Solomon asked, "How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge?" (Proverbs 1:22).
Job asked, "How long will you say these things? Your words are a blustering wind." (Job 8:2)
Even Jesus asked, "How long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?" (Mark 9:19).
I remember when I was a child, growing up in a military family during the Vietnam war, I had a calendar with numbers on each day of the year, counting backwards. We had a date my father would return from war and each day on that calendar marked one day closer to our separation ending. I also remember when I was in labor with our first child, I asked (more like screamed), "How Long?" and screamed it more than once during those long twenty-four hours!
The question, "How Long?" seems a bit more bearable when you have a target date to focus on – like a father returning from war or a baby about to be born. But for abuse survivors, there most likely is no target date. No moment fixed in time when - once you cross it - you won't struggle, won't remember, won't wince or panic or fear (I’m not speaking about heaven here!). That's when the question, "How Long?" feels as illusive as this wistful song. "How Long?" can blind you to what is happening in the present - good and bad, pleasant or difficult.
I grew up in a faith tradition very focused on the after-life, on heaven. While that may be comforting, it can be thrown out of balance if it means you fail to live this day with the importance that it deserves. Don't get me wrong - I am grateful that we have a "blessed hope" of something beyond what we know - beyond our suffering, but I also know that what we have at this moment IS . . . well . . . this moment.!
I've lived long enough (almost 56 years) to be very grateful for what I know now. I wouldn't trade my knowledge and life experiences for anything - not even being cute and twenty and strong and energetic. With time spent on this earth, we can learn how precious each day is, each relationship is, and each opportunity is. Don't get me wrong - I hate suffering as much as the next person, but as valid as the question, "How Long?" is, that's not the only question you need to ask. Other questions - whether your life circumstances are positive or negative, whether your journey is arduous or joyous - might be, "What can I learn about myself through this?" "In what ways do I need to change and grow?" "What about this is worthy of dignity and celebration?" "What about this can I use to help others in similar situations?"
One reason I think that "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is so melancholy, is that it looks THROUGH the rainbow, not at it. The truth is, from the smallest child to the oldest adult, the sight of a rainbow can take your breath away and cause you to squeal, "Look! A rainbow!" In your journey, there is beauty and wonder in each step - each painful step - on your way to find out what's beyond this moment you've got. Live it to the fullest. Extract from it all there is to have. Use it to change yourself, to alter the future, and to make a difference for others who find themselves on the same path.
"Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high . . . there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby. Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue . . . and the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true. Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me . . . where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me. Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly . . . birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh, why can't I?"
You’ll be there someday, but for now, dear ones, be sure to catch a glimpse of that rainbow, too. It makes the “How Long?” question a bit more bearable.
*to hear Eva Cassidy's rendition of Over the Rainbow on YouTube, paste this link in your web browser: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccCnL8hArW8
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