The Kiss

Thursday night, there was a big dinner with friends. A warm spring evening. A stroll in the garden afterward. It sounds wonderful until you realize these were the terrible tremors that signaled the beginning of Christ's abuse. With a kiss, the tremors erupted into a complete shifting of the earth. Nothing would ever be the same.

Kiss. That word - that action - brings to mind intimacy, trust, closeness, and affection. But that night - it was used as a weapon. This kiss became the iconic symbol of betrayal. It launched the closing hours of Christ's life in his Earth Suit. The kiss - given and received - changed everything. Fear rippled through the tight circle of friends and they scattered - ultimately betraying themselves as well as denying Jesus. The religious community exposed all the ugliness and blasphemous cruelty that they really were. The civil government once again suspended its own rules of law to appease corrupt, powerful, and cowardly leaders. Law enforcement - those with the authority to use force - used it in such a way as to demean, degrade, and strip naked a less powerful, weakened, defenseless person. The adoring "cheerleaders" with palm branches of just one week before, became "jeer-leaders." And it all began with a kiss (Matthew 26:48; Mark 14:44; Luke 22:47-48).

There was another kind of kiss that came after Christ's death and resurrection. It was referred to as the Holy Kiss - a kiss of community and inclusion - an intimate greeting between believers that signified belonging. "Greet one another with a Holy Kiss" was admonished at least five times in the writings of Paul and Peter (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:26; Peter 5:14). It was meant to be a physical way of blessing others and to express unity among people who followed Christ.

Abuse is ultimately possible because someone misused their closeness to you. Trust, intimacy and acceptance were all violated by those who should have protected, accepted, nurtured, and provided for you. What others may view as a sign of affection, you experienced as danger, trauma, and theft of innocence. The obscene misuse of actions - reserved for love - sent the same kind of tremors through your life. It shifted your world and the path you traveled on it. The great challenge of abuse recovery is to decide that you're going to reclaim the appropriate expressions of love, affection, and intimacy. That you're going to take a concept like "kiss" - hijacked by your abusers - and wrestled it from their clutches to be restored to its rightful place and sacred meaning in your life.

As you make your own pilgrimage through this Holy Week, remember that you go to Christ - God in an Earth Suit - who understands your struggles. That understanding is because of his own experiences with suffering. His own experiences with affection being used as a weapon. His own harsh realities of being abandoned, betrayed, exposed, humiliated, tortured, and abused. It was these experiences with suffering that made Christ's connection with us perfect. It is what gives us commonality - shared experiences that change how we communicate.

This Holy Week - we acknowledge this journey of Jesus that began with a kiss. In abuse recovery, you acknowledge your own journey that began when someone misused their power, turned something meant for affection into a weapon, and took away any control you had over these experiences. This Holy Week - you do not remain paralyzed in front of a tomb, hopeless. You rise with Christ to move beyond that suffering, abuse, and pain. You rise to light and truth and hope. As you do, Holy Week becomes Holy Life. Beyond the abuse. Beyond all that was lost. Beyond darkness to dwell in love, peace, and community with God. You are connected to God by the common experiences of pain. Because of Christ's experiences with such pain, he is connected to you by love and grace.

You have been given a Holy Kiss of fellowship, sacred love, and community through Christ. Because of that foul, abusive kiss received by Christ, you have access to One who understands your own struggles with the issues of affection and intimacy. As you exchange the lies attached to that "kiss" with the truth of how beautiful the Holy Kiss of fellowship and belonging are, you rise with Christ to a journey beyond abuse. Have a blessed Holy Week.