Washed Away

I live in a part of the world where "Spring" is synonymous with pollen. In Arkansas, everything is covered with a perpetual layer of green dust. It's the stuff that makes us sneeze, wheeze, and feel pretty lousy. Most of us walk around with blood-shot eyes, runny noses, and dry, hacking coughs. Of course, the trade-off for such misery includes the beautiful flowers and budding trees. It's just so wonderful to see - just not so great to breathe! Spring also brings a lot of rain - a LOT of rain! When that rain comes, the pollen is washed out of the air and collects in puddles. For a few hours after the rain, we all breathe easier.

Abuse recovery involves many moments that are just about as uncomfortable - sometimes downright disturbing - as they get. For a season - actually many different seasons - you may feel the effects of facing your past, facing the difficult experiences that have ripped your life apart, and facing the damage left behind. With each new layer that is exposed to you, you may also walk around with blood-shot eyes, a runny nose, and a few coughs. Along with this, you may shed a number of tears.

Tears are quite amazing. Some abuse survivors cry easily. Others haven't cried for years. Either way, there is a progression of responses as you face the realities and consequences of abuse. When those realities are faced - truly acknowledged and embraced - a powerful cleansing takes place. The past - your abuse, the damage, the false shame or guilt - loosens its grip on you. Every time that happens, something amazing takes place. The perpetual layer of dysfunction dissipates - diffuses - lessens its intensity.

It has been my experience that when abuse survivors finally decide to turn around and face their past - the ugly, shame-filled past - everything changes. The shame is exposed as false. The ugliness becomes clear as belonging to your abusers. The secrets that you've feared no longer dictate who and what you are. It is just like the Spring rains we have here in Arkansas. They are terrible to go through, but as they pass, they fulfill a filtering function for your mind, body, and spirit. The damage is pulled from your life and collected in pools that will eventually evaporate and lose their power over you.

This may happen through tears - or not. But either way - facing the truth about what happened to you takes the power away from those terrible secrets. Yes - the initial film left by secrets, damage, and dysfunction - create great discomfort. But after those storms, you'll find the air - your air - is purified, filtered, and breathable.