Depression: Ignorance is Not Bliss!

I'll tell you up front that this article is a knee jerk reaction to a sermon that a friend of mine heard preached in church this past weekend. In that sermon, the statement was made that "depression is a choice." This is an ignorant statement! It is a statement based on uninformed ignorance at best - and smug judgmentalism at worst. I've never, ever been with a depressed person who wanted to be depressed. NEVER! Depression is miserable and it is a common experience for abuse survivors. So let's de-construct this uninformed statement, because ignorance is NOT bliss - particularly when working to become healthier on your journey beyond abuse.

Depression involves a vital body organ - your brain. Your brain is as much a body organ as your heart or liver or lungs. Heart attacks aren't a choice. Liver failure isn't a choice. Asthma isn't a choice (Note: being a victim of abuse isn’t a choice either for those who might argue my point here). Depression means that your brain function is impacted by stress or chemical imbalance or poor nutrition or brain cells misfiring.

Sadness and grief are valid and important emotions to fully experience and process if they are not going to turn toxic. You can deny it or suppress it and call it faith, but the truth is, people must embrace both positive and painful emotions if they are to live in a healthy and balanced way. Please read this carefully: denial and faith are two completely different things. Faith looks heartache and loss right in the eye. Denial pretends there is no heartache or loss.

I can't tell you how many funerals I've been to where grieving partners, family, and friends are shamed - sometimes publicly - for displaying grief. It's barbaric and couldn't be further from the heart of God. Remember that Jesus wept at his friend Lazarus' tomb. People of faith have a keen understanding that there is something beyond what we know and see. The Scriptures teach that death has no sting, but that's for the one who has died. For those who remain, it's a very painful experience. The Scriptures also report that we don't grieve like people who have no hope - but it doesn't say we don't grieve.

All that to say, that if sadness, disappointment, pain, and grief are not acknowledged and experienced, then they turn toxic in you very quickly. Literally toxic. Not just spiritually toxic or emotionally toxic. Physically toxic and those toxins change brain function and body function - which can lead to depression. These toxins cause a literal chemical change that disrupts the delicate and perfect balance needed to be healthy and happy.

When abuse occurs, it often takes place in an unsafe setting. The environment isn't safe. Relationships aren't safe either because of overt abuse, neglect, or life circumstances - such as a missing parent due to addiction, war, or partner separation. That means that the victim doesn't have the luxury of getting help for the trauma they experienced. They hold terrifying secrets, experience high levels of terror, risk abandonment or neglect, and often live with untended physical damage. The loss that an abuse victim experiences is profound - particularly when abuse is chronic and ongoing.

These circumstances create the perfect storm for depression. Abuse experiences cannot be processed in many cases, which means that the toxins go under-cover. They eventually work their way into how your organs function, including your brain - which attempts to function with a toxic payload that leads to many problems including memory loss, concentration problems, headaches, and yes - depression. That's why anti-depressants are often quite effective in helping a person who struggles with depression. Let me quickly add that it often takes a trial-and-error approach with a physician/psychiatrist to find the right combination of medications to help individuals. This is certainly not a one-size-fits-all process.

Depression is different that the blues. Life circumstances - such as a history of abuse - can certainly play a significant role in how depression develops because trauma impacts how you function. Everyone gets down. Everyone gets sad. Everyone grieves and experiences many losses during their lifetimes. Those aren't choices either. They are people interacting with the highs and lows of living. With the joys and sorrows, dreams and nightmares of being human.

Depression is miserable. It's not a choice. It's a RED FLAG that must be tended to as surely as a heart attack must be cared for. It can impair your quality of life, your relationships, and compromise your health. It can also be deadly.

Is there a spiritual component to depression? Of course! There's a spiritual component to everything because you're a spiritual being. While I'm a believer in hard work, in the one-foot-in-front-of-the-other journey to become healthier - I also know that your beautiful, delicate yet resilient body needs extra care from time to time. If you're feeling loss and sorrow, take the time - quality time - to access God's comfort and love. If you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed - take the time to experience God's fortifying peace.

Every week, I write about small steps in the journey beyond abuse, but abuse recovery must be holistic. Tend to your spirit. Tend to your relationships, your finances, and your talents. Tend to your body and your health. Turn a deaf ear to preachers like the one I referred to. Instead, turn to the welcoming, non-judging, inclusive and unconditional Christ who invites you to come to him if you labor, or are heavy laden, and he will give you peace. He offers to share your burdens with you, not pretend you don't have any. He knows his own strength and knows yours, and explains that a partnership is possible that will sustain you until you can once again flourish. I suppose if there's any choice in all this, it's that you take him up on that offer through prayer, meditation, intentional living, community, and accountability.

Written by Sallie Culbreth, Founder
Committed to Freedom