Recently, I was visiting a church and the children's moment was about the parable of the one lost sheep. This is a well-known story that Jesus told about a shepherd who had one-hundred sheep. As he herded them into the pen, he counted up to ninety-nine and discovered that one of his sheep was missing. Jesus continues with the story that the shepherd was willing to go after the one lost sheep. At all costs, the shepherd pursued the lost sheep, knowing that his other ninety-nine were safe. That's the image of God's love - he pursues those who are lost. He finds them, he rescues them, and he brings them back into the fold. (You can read this story for yourself in Luke 15:1-10 in the New Testament Bible).
Anyway, that was the story told to the children, but the way the teacher started was by asking them, "What would happen if you were at the mall and got lost from your mom or your dad?" She was trying to direct them to the conclusion that their parents would go looking for them, but that was not the response she got. Nope! These kids were NOT going to wait on their parents to resolve their lostness. They announced they would find a mall security guard or go to a store clerk or go stand by the correct exit. They would use their cell phones (yes . . . THEIR cell phones) and call or text their locations. They would yell, "Mom!" or "Dad!" again and again until their parents located them. If someone tried to abduct them they were going to yell, "Stranger!! This is not my mom!!"
It was very amusing to watch the teacher ponder how to re-phrase her question to get her point across, but I found the whole thing quite fascinating for another reason. These kids had no intention of remaining lost. They were proactive sheep and the sooner they got back with the shepherd, the better. No waiting around for them! They had a plan and they were determined to implement it. Yes, yes . . . they finally recognized that their mothers or fathers would be looking for them too . . . just like the shepherd in the story, but these kids had given this a lot of thought. They were not going to passively accept their lostness!
I couldn't help but see a parallel between these proactive little lambs and the proactive nature of abuse recovery. Many of us can point to specific moments or encounters when it was apparent that God was mysteriously at work to help us find our way forward to a place of health and balance. At the same time, there is nothing passive about your part in this forward motion of abuse recovery.
You've got to be a proactive sheep who knows the shepherd is on the move, seeking and finding those who are lost, but you've got a part in this rescue, too. Like those proactive children in church, start looking for help. Look for people, opportunities, and environments that will help you anchor into a strong, healthy life and . . . stay anchored there! Make some noise and don't be content to stay stuck in the thickets, hearing the wolves circling. Clamor for help! Rock the boat until someone who can help notices your need and assists you to get where you need to go. Make sure you're choosy about who you go off with, too! And if that person or group tries to force you back into a corner where you're once more devalued, degraded, silenced, or disempowered, don't you dare think you've got to go with them!
One of my favorite authors is Anne Lamott. In one of her books, she identifies two kinds of prayers that people need to know. One is: "Help me! Help me! Help me!" and the other is, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Let me second that observation! I say it often, but abuse recovery is about militancy for freedom. It is a pit-bull determination to go after what you need and not let go, no matter what! It is the "Help me! Help me! Help me!!" prayer! Abuse recovery - as these very wise children noted - is about being like lost, yet proactive, sheep! And when you feel the comfort and strength of God's love leading you safely to the road of recovery, then you can proactively practice that other wonderful prayer: "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
Written by Sallie Culbreth, Founder
Committed to Freedom . . . providing people with spiritual tools to help them move beyond abuse
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