Healing Levity

I want to start out by saying that there is absolutely NOTHING funny about abuse. NOTHING! The damage is extensive and long term. The scars are massive. The pain is unimaginable.

That being said, there is a place for humor and levity in the abuse recovery process. If you put yourself in the shoes (or more accurately sandals) of Christ, you see his sense of humor revealed again and again. Think about Mary and Martha. I can see him grinning to himself. Think about the multitude of times when he shook his head and pretty much asked his disciples how much longer he had to put up with them. The people he surrounded himself with, the environment he taught in, and the stories he told are filled with real-life joy and humor.

It's important to point out that humor and levity are not the same as cynical and snarky. Rather, they are lenses through which you recognize the truly funny moments in life. And there are - after all - some very funny moments in life – everyone’s life, including yours.

Many abuse survivors are notorious for being pessimists. For believing that not only is the glass half empty, but it's probably got a crack in it somewhere and will be bone dry in an hour. On the other side of that continuum, abuse survivors are also notorious for hiding behind humor as a way to never deal with the deep throbbing places in their souls torn by abuse and dysfunction.

And yes - for those of you who have been reading my articles for awhile - this, too, is all about balance. It's about living somewhere between Eeyore and Tigger (Winnie the Pooh Reference written by A.A. Milne in 1926). It's about recognizing the obvious - that yes, there is some really bad stuff going on, but being determined to find joy. To find silly, ridiculous hilarity. To intentionally look for laughter. To recognize that if you dwell on nothing but the wretched horrors that saturate television and the internet and the newspapers, all of your energy you might have to spend on living in a healthy way will be depleted - consumed by tunnel vision for the awful, rather than the panorama which unfolds when all of life is included.

Humor doesn't come at the expense of others. It doesn't come through denial or minimization. It comes through intentional sight. Intentional listening. Intentional touch. It's a search for the ironic and celebrating what you discover. Nowhere is this more important than with yourself. To take yourself a bit less serious - not in a self-deprecating way, not to belittle or devalue - but to just lighten up a bit. To laugh at your quirks and not feel threatened when others laugh at them, too. To embrace your wonderful, unique, flaws and decorate them with glow-in-the-dark paint (figuratively speaking . . . or maybe not).

There is a Scripture in the Hebrew Bible that states: "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." (Proverbs 17:22). Becoming healthier involves cultivating a balanced relationship with the difficulties of living in a flawed world and the hilarity of living in a flawed world. It is, indeed, good medicine and good for you. Children and animals are good places to begin noticing this good medicine. Expand outward from there.